◆ [Date updated: 2023/08/13(Sun) 20:35:14]
　■I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
　　And my penis was missing again.
　　This happens all the time.
　　It's detachable.
　　This comes in handy a lot of the time.
　　I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
　　Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
　　But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
　　And the next morning I can't for the life of me
　　Remember what I did with it.
　　First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
　　So I called up the place where the party was,
　　They hadn't seen it either.
　　I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
　　'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
　　But not this time.
　　So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
　　I called a few people who were at the party,
　　But they were no help either.
　　I was starting to get desperate.
　　I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
　　It makes me feel like less of a man,
　　And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
　　After a few hours of searching the house,
　　And calling everyone I could think of,
　　I was starting to get very depressed,
　　So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
　　Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
　　Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
　　I saw my penis lying on a blanket
　　Next to a broken toaster oven.
　　Some guy was selling it.
　　I had to buy it off him.
　　He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
　　I took it home, washed it off,
　　And put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
　　People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
　　But I don't know.
　　Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
　　I like having a detachable penis.(´ー`)